Healing a wound needs attention

I’ve always been intrigued by the idea that we immediately take action at the slightest topical injury. Children respond viscerally to a scratch or cut, demanding a bandaid stat! Adults also seem to need visual proof when something isn’t right - a bruise, swelling, discolouration proves something is wrong and needs treatment.

I wonder why we don’t respond as enthusiastically to other, less visible wounds. If someone is sad, we want tears. If someone is stressed, we need to see evidence of that, like gaunt faces from lack of sleep, an unkempt appearance, maybe the shakes. But until there is clear evidence, there is little to no urgency and most people learn very early on that you either hide an emotional or psychological wound, or you deal with it alone and quietly. Until there’s a spectacle, no one is interested, and then, once there is a crisis event, that interest can quickly become blame, distaste, judgement and ridicule.

The worst response however, is always indifference. For the most part, people either want to get involved only when they can see an injury, or they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

What I do know for sure though, is that wounds don’t heal without attention. Even when the body is healing a minor scratch, or a much deeper injury through cellular repair, something is propelling that process and it isn’t stagnation. The energy the body needs to heal a physical issue requires ingredients like nutrition, the removal of and protection from infection, medicinal manipulation through chemical intake or application, something to help mend the problem.

It is the same with an emotional or psychological injury. Wounds that occur to our psyche, personality, development, attachment, our learning and connection need attention. They don’t heal by themselves and they don’t automatically resolve through disinterest and denial.

While it is easier and even desired in our society to pretend that everything is ok all the time, and when it isn’t that it is private, under control or inconvenient, compared to louder and more visible problems, the truth is that without addressing those quieter issues, they only escalate and indeed do become visible in lots of different ways. And sometimes it is too late to heal them easily.

We need to notice symptoms of any wound, but especially an emotional or psychological one, before it becomes physical, which it inevitably will.

So how do we create an environment that gives people permission to share their worries when they impact their lives, and how do we make it normal and common to notice when someone isn’t ok and support them to feel better?

Everywhere we look lately there is some campaign for mental health awareness and services. There are thousands of well trained and educated providers and plenty of people are talking about their struggles. There is certainly a need in the community for those two things to meet. At the same time, we are hearing of very common instances of incidents that occur when people don’t get the support they need. Violent crime, suicide rates, delinquent behaviour, domestic and family violence don’t seem to be lessening. We can account for mainstream traditional and social media’s tendency to sensationalise social problems, but there is a level of truth to us not having our social problems under control.

Perhaps we are at a turning point. The willingness to pay attention and want to make a difference is a good start. Taking action might seem like the final hurdle and you can only act on your own behalf and perhaps support those close to you.

In my experience, those invisible issues that we think will go away if we ignore them only get bigger and it takes courage to work on issues that seem insignificant, but might escalate later. There might be judgement of the self or coming from others, implying that you are exaggerating, making a mountain out of a mole hill and creating a problem where there isn’t one. But the alternative might be turning a blind eye to a situation that could have been prevented.

The best way to heal emotional and psychological wounds is to address them and to keep an eye on them consistently. And if you don’t know how to do this alone, there is support you can access until you do know what to do by yourself.

If you or someone you know needs this support, a Counsellor is a great place to start.

I look forward to meeting you.

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